September 27, 2017

It’s taking a lot to ignore how foreign this site is for me.


I am opting to focus on what it means to look back on the eagerly prolific archetype that I appear to have lost: in between HIV-acceptance, meth-orgies, failed relationships, and alcohol-fueled socialization– latter of which has been my personal bread and butter of friendship forming.


“Well FINE, it’s just ANOTHER thing you can tell your therapist some day!”




I like BoJack Horseman. Didn’t think I would.



“Oh lord, another one of those troubled, alcoholic protagonists who we’re expected to feel for by default because points a) ooh he’s funny,  b) look at his life, or w)hogivesafukk OVERDONE”

With the goading of a trusted friend, I continued to watch.

It would have been easy to write a show where the protagonist continues to be zanily chaotic, learning nothing while the world and its characters (ostensibly: at least first-season) operate around them, but depth was quickly shown- and as a reluctant viewer, I appreciated some uncomfortable parallels.


“You can’t keep doing this! You can’t keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay! You need to be better! — You are all the things that are wrong with you. It’s not the alcohol, or the drugs, or any of the shitty things that happened to you in your career, or when you were a kid, it’s you. All right? It’s you.”








This is probably a masturbatory blog. But that makes sense: it’s for me.
















My mom worked on missing kids cases. Recently divorced, and mostly alone in the house, she had me sleep in her room with four locks on the door and a knife under her bed from the ages of 10 until roughly 15.




















Still terrifying.

But I feel like I’m learning fast. 
By my own ridiculous standards, anyway.


P’raps I should put these article thingamajoos in a different file from now on..

Freelance Foray

April 10, 2010



I feel like this should be much cooler, but there’s something unsettling about having your psyche on public display for anyone to critiqueANDBEFORETHEIRONYSINKSIN- I have the ability to burn all my postings here should I feel the desire to :P, whereas as I understand, my Eagle posting has characteristics of permanency that would make a Zales Jeweler blush.

Was that last part a bit pretentious?  Eh, I don’t mind so much  


…Maybe it’ll get cooler.  /slash/ more comfortable soon. 


In the meantime, a bit of uncharacteristically cute sentiment from Kit:

2 little girls [sisters, I imagine] said nothing, smiled up at me, and put dandelion heads in my hand as they walked past me this afternoon.   I smiled.

Well, hell’s bells!

April 9, 2010

“-I need to keep throwing words in here”, to finish up the inital exclamation.  If not to train for the FORAY INTO FREELANCE WRITING THAT STARTED HOLY SHIT, then so as to distance my perceived persona from the Winter Blues Musedness that was.   …As it’s sunny n’ warm out now.  n’chipper!

Heavy Rain was a once in a lifetime experience.  Unless people start catching onto the amazement that it was and start throwing money at David Cage.  Then it’s a ‘once every few years until one of you dies’ experience. 



Also.  The Minnesota Orchestra is having a Video Games Live themed night this Saturday.  I am poor.  There is extremely limited seating left.

If you need me, I’m that fellow attempting to distract himself with any and anything for the duration of the concert.  “What shade of paint is that…?  Taupe..?”

But for right now…. it feels like Anger is what happens when love and hate can’t make up their minds about one another.  Usually with some sort of L+H clash involved.

Ooh, on that note, kiiiiinda sorta striving for apathy on the Silly Sir of the East sitcheeation, as L+H are simply opposite sides of the same coin.  Read:  I hate him.  I love him.  etc.etc.

Internet Memes aside; Quotable Kitters haz Quote.

“When you place yourself above everyone, it makes it difficult to relate to them.  Your isolation is rooted in narcissism.”

…not that I’m thinking about anyone in pertix or anytin’..


Heavy Rain in *2* days, evvruhbuddy.  I’ma cuttin’ off that finger.











Yes i am drunk.

It was very similar to FFVII’s Midgar, only that there were multiple plates vertical to one another, with various shopping areas, bus transit spots, and general crazy urban vibrations.

I wandered the ‘streets’ on the phone with a person I barely know in real life who, in real life, does indeed live in New York at the moment.  He attempted to give me directions to his apartment [as I was lost and a bit nervous about it], with little success.

In my wandering, I encountered my old roommate, who for some reason now had a bit of Asian in his Irish/Scottish [?] heritage.  He was a famed talk show host in the city, though perhaps *infamous* is a better descriptor, as somehow I was clued in that his onstage persona is extremely debaucherous and often imbibing of illicit items.

I woke up eventually.

the big Z

February 5, 2010

“Ya like that?  YA LIKE THAT!?!”

[“Oh dear god, resist the urge to say he looks like Joe Pesci from Raging Bull oh GOD resist the urge to tell him he looks like Joe Pesci from Raging Bull”]  “…Mm….. Mm….!!”

“That’s what you like- yeah?”  *haphazard/generally misplaced physical force*  “TELL ME THAT’S WHAT YOU LIKE.”

[“dork dork dork dork definitelyshouldhavestayedhome whatadweeb”]  “…Mm!” *mumblemum* [“If I can’t force myself to even ‘hypothetically’ enjoy this, hopefully he’ll misinterpret mumbling into something other than emasculating”]

Frank Sinatra is in the background.  For some reason.


“…..!  ……!!!  !!!!!   …………..Phew!  That was great.  Well, uh… I’ve got a lot of stuff to do today…. I have to get up at 7…”

*epic blinking post- 4 minutes of failblog worthy mise en scene*

Unsolicited-yet-felt-necessary [and tactful!] protips were provided- in hopes of sparing a future special someone seeking anything more than laughable dreck; which was unfortunately received in an unfavorable fashion despite the best of efforts [hell, *I’d* be sensitive in that {lack of} position].


Scratch unfavorable.

…wait, I can do that myself.




Insert- [all irony aside] massive prickedly



Unfortunately, that resulted in my declaration…


“With musical taste such as yours, I expected more class.”







But I may or may not stand wholeheartedly and self assuredly behind that zinger.